I am the cheese.

2009 was not my best year, by far. It had many more downs than ups. I am not one to dwell on the past, but learn from it, and move on, and use what I know now to help me grow and become a better person. So, that's exactly what I have done. As a result, I have lost many "friends", but I have made some I know will last a lifetime. Quality, not quantity, is what counts. Thanks, 2009, for teaching me that lesson, even if it was the hard way.


I decided to start a mom's goup here in Maricopa last fall, this little city that finally opened a Wal*Mart and has no hosptial, giving the moms here something to look forward to, and helping our children make friends. Who would have thought I'd have been the one making friends. Some of these friends were toxic, and tried to damage the relationships and friendships I have, and some have turned out to be the best friends I have ever made.


These mean girls are people I cannot, and will not bring myself to be around, or my children. I questioned myself, had I made the right choice here? Standing up for the friends they did not like in turn granted me the same treatment, the name calling, the jokes behind my back, and the less time they wanted to spend with me. Now that 2010 is here, I thought, new beginnings, maybe some people have grown up, changed over the past few months. I even tried initiating contact, and all I got was the same thing I got before. Treated like garbage. So, if by doing the right thing, I am left alone, then I will stand alone. I am the cheese.

After careful consideration of my cell phone log, and my facebook page, I see that I am not the cheese. And, if I am, I am one damn good, expensive cheese. I have friends, and mighty good ones at that. They may not all live near me, they may not drive expensive cars or wear the finest clothes, but they are worth a million bucks in my book. When someone says, "If you need anything, let me know," everyone knows they hardly mean it. These friends of mine, they mean it. I have made calls at all hours of the night, crying, laughing, or just not wanting to be alone, and who do I find on my doorstep? The ones I stood up for, not the ones I had to stand up to. These are the friends who babysit as a favor, want to spend time with me, and not only when I'm drinking and being someone else to fit in.

2010, though I'm only a portion of the way into it, has proven me right. Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same, and I've never been one to give up very easily. So cheese, or no cheese, I will not stand alone. My friends are way too good to let that happen. I ♥ you, girls!

p.s. The picture posted is not meant to exclude anyone, but a recent picture I have of a few of us together. If you're not in it, it does not mean, by any means at all, that I don't love you just the same. =)