8 days, 1 month, 5 years

I remember being younger and waiting impatiently for certain events-Christmas, birthdays, summer break-and wondering how in the world time can pass so slowly. Now that I'm older, I wonder just the opposite, how on Earth can time just slip away?

My dad came to visit for 8 days, and though I thought my life would be turned up-side down, the time seemed to fly by. Between running Laila to and from school, taking care of the new baby, and keeping Kenadi occupied, it seems like we really didn't spend all that much time together. I expected to breathe a sigh of relief as he pulled away to head back to Las Vegas, but I felt sad, tired, and a bit lonely. His being here this past week has taught me something I think I always knew. We went to Chuck E. Cheese for Laila's birthday, and my dad offered to pay for lunch and tokens for the kids. I had planned on purchasing everything myself, but he insisted. I explained that I had the money set aside specifically for this, but he said he wanted to. That night, after Laila opened her birthday gifts and we had cake, I realized why he wanted to take care of our day out. I have always felt gratification when I do something special for Laila and I see her smile, it always brings a brightness to my heart I can't explain, but it's those things I do that she doesn't see that really make me proud. I know one day she'll understand, as I do now, that things are possible because of me. Chuck E. Cheese was possible that day because of my dad, and even though Laila doesn't know it, I am sure he felt proud.

Seeing my dad interact with my kids is always special to me. I don't have many pictures of my dad with me as a baby, so when I see him holding my son, reading to Laila, or doing puzzles with Kenadi, it makes me feel so great to know he did those same things with me. Seeing him now, as a parent instead of just a child, really opens up my eyes and gives me the inspiration to make it just one more day, to push myself for another smile, hug, or kiss. There's no better payment than that.

Sunday was a big day in the Smith house! It is so hard to believe my son is one month old already! He has already taught me a lot about who I am, and my abilities to love and grow. I never wanted a boy, but now that he's here, I couldn't imagine my life without him in it. He has grown so much in the past month, I can't believe it has been that long already! He is doing so well with eating and sleeping, I feel like he's been a part of my life forever, and he's just arrived. Another month has vanished before my eyes in a blur of bottles, diapers, and sleepless nights, but it all seemed worth it when he finally smiled for the first time.

August 29 was Laila's fifth birthday. I am so very excited, and very sad. I can't believe my baby girl is not a baby anymore, but blossoming into a gorgeous little girl. She's in school full time and absolutely loving it. She's still adjusting to missing her friends and playdates, but she is making new friends and enjoys the alone time away from her brother and sister. For her birthday she wanted a purple cake. I tried my best, but it turned out more of a gray color, but the icing was purple and was exactly the way she wanted it. I am no cake decorator, but I tried my best and she loved it. We had a cake and a few gifts at home, and she really enjoyed the low key celebration. She's not big on attention, she clams up and gets very nervous, so having just family and a friend over was perfect for her. 

We are not ones to spoil our kids, but I like for them to have one large gift and a few smaller ones to open. She got a princess scooter and fell in love with it, the best part being she doesn't have to share it. She took it out for a test drive and all I could picture was her driving a car in 10 years. If five years has flashed before my eyes, another 10 will go just as quickly. She sure keeps me on my toes, she likes to stay busy and with her, the time seems to just speed past. She has been a great daughter and an amazing teacher. It seems as though the learning process has only just begun, not only for her, but for myself too. Each day brings new things, new struggles and new triumphs. I am just glad she's the one I get to experience them with first, I couldn't imagine things any different.