Late Night Ramblings.

This blog has been weighing heavily on my heart lately. I used to update it frequently, and then as my children grew, it became less and less. I found myself wrapped up endlessly in them, and the amount of time I had for myself has slowly dwindled away to next to nothing. What little time I do have alone, I ponder over the idea of blogging again. Would I be any good at it? Would anyone want to read it? Maybe it's time for something new...

Where have I been? Well, I'm not sure that really matters. I'm here now. It's just after 10pm on a Wednesday night and the whole house is quiet. I can't sleep. Hell, I can't even relax. Not at a time like this. We're on the brink of huge changes around here. But before I dig deep into the depths of my soul, I digress.

An entire school year has passed since my last blog. Kenadi has completed kindergarten, to say she did great wouldn't quite do her justice. She received more awards than I can count on my two hands, I'm the picture of a proud mother. My sweet girl adapts to anything with grace and beauty, she's a true middle child. I couldn't love her more for it even if I tried. Laila, my sweet sugar baby, has completed her 3rd grade year. I'm ecstatic to report she made honor roll three of out of four quarters, and Principals List the last quarter. I know how challenging dealing with diabetes is for all of us, but she makes it look easy. Straight A's, another soccer season under her belt, and she's glad it's summertime.

Looking back, my last post was sometime in August. Whew, August.

We had a stellar birthday and holiday season, Dustin was actually home for the first time in years, and celebrating Christmas as a family was everything I hoped it would be. Snowflake made her debut December 1 and wreaked havoc on my household yet again. I know I complain sometimes, but I don't know that I'll ever get tired of seeing the smiles on the kids' faces every morning of December when they find her and laugh over her silly antics. It's not easy, coming up with 25 new ideas each year, but it's certainly worth it.

No, I haven't forgotten about my son. That boy of mine, he sure gives me a run for my money. I'm pleased to announce Little Dustin has been potty trained for a few months now, including overnight. It makes for a much happier Dustin, and not having to pay for diapers makes for a much happier bank account, too. I won't lie, I left the unused pull-ups in his underwear drawer, not because he needs them, but because I can't bring myself to rid the house of the last shred of baby left in it. Yes, there's one last diaper in there, too. Don't judge me. Would I have done things differently if I truly thought he was my last one? Maybe. Probably.

Changes. I did mention things were changing around here. Starting with me. I decided settling for "good-enough" wasn't "good-enough" for me. It has been 12 years since I graduated high school, and 11 years since I dropped out of college after barely completing one full year. I have a husband that supports me and our family, but the "what-if's?" kept taunting me. I bit the bullet and enrolled in an online college. I laughed, cried, and persisted. I'm now 4 classes in and have declared a major. Wait for it.

Addictions counseling.

Seems fitting.

Changes. We're not finished. Our house, our home. We're in the process of selling it. In fact, we have less than a month to be packed and moved out. Where will we go? Your guess is as good as mine. We are staying in Maricopa, we just don't have an address yet. This is where the stress begins to creep up the back of my neck, behind my ears, and rushes down my chest. Don't you worry, we're house hunting again on Monday.

Dustin and I are just days away from celebrating our 8 year wedding anniversary, and I'm about a month out from my big 3-0. We decided now is as good a time as any to do all the neat things we've always waited to do for no real reason. For example: I shot a gun! We went to the shooting range. We've been both beer and wine tasting. We have been to a couple concerts and have bought tickets to a handful more. I'm checking things off my bucket list like there's no tomorrow. Isn't that the point? No more letting life pass me by.

This summer has proved to be a lot less hectic than last summer. Ok, that was a lie. It's ridiculously busy. We have plans almost daily. It would also be a lie if I said I didn't love it. Crafts. Random Acts of Kindness. Movies. Play dates. Family visiting. It's only a few weeks into summer and we've barely had a day "off" yet.

Just how I like it.

Did someone say Disney? Oh, yes. We're surprising the kids with a trip to Cali in just 19 short days. They have no idea we're going, and keeping it a secret has proved harder than either Dustin or I had ever imagined! Did you catch the part where I have to be moved out of this house in less than a month? Yep. Disneyland and moving in the same month. Because I'm a glutton for punishment.

Am I rambling? I'm rambling. Boy, does it feel good. The Counting Crows are blaring in my headphones and my neck is sore from the way I'm sitting, but I don't even care. It feels good to do something for me. I've decided I need to break away from this blog and make a second one just for me. I can't promise to keep this one updated with our family shenanigans. I can't even promise to keep the other one updated. But I can promise to try.

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