Gratitude Post 19

Today was another normal day, then something extraordinary happened. I received a message from my friend, Tony. We've been friends since high school, and known each other since elementary school. I affectionately refer to him as, "Ma unny!".

Gratitude Day 19: I'm grateful for long-term friendships.

I talked to Tony today for what felt like hours. Video chat on Facebook is the most amazing invention! To be able to see his face even though he's so far away, it warmed me from the inside out. I'm go glad we've been able to maintain a friendship though so many years have passed. There are thousands of miles in between us, and we've only been able to see each other twice in the last 10 years, but he still knows me, he gets me, and I know I'll never find another friend like him.

We sat by each other on the bus in elementary school, but didn't become close until high school. Our junior and senior year we were inseparable, we went to prom together, had sleep-overs, and told each other everything. Years have passed and we've both grown, we don't talk as much, but when we do, we pick up wherever we left off. I know when I go back home for a visit, there's a familiar face eager to see me. I look forward to many more years of friendship and laughter with him.

Gratitude Post 18

So I missed another day. Story of my life.

Gratitude Day 18: I'm grateful for photographs.

At least once a week, I find myself scrolling through old photos of my family. My sweet, innocent children. Watching them grow, frame by frame, and loving my ability to capture every important event. From a random afternoon to Christmas morning, and everything in between, I've got hundreds, thousands even, of photographs to remember every little last detail of my amazing life.

Technology has advanced so much, I love being able to print the photos I choose, edit and crop ones that didn't turn out just right, and delete anything that was a mistake. I can share the pictures with family and friends with just the click of a button. Knowing I'll have these images forever, despite any tragedies, it soothes my soul.

Laila 1 month

Laila 7 years

Kenadi 1 week

Kenadi 4 years

Dustin 1 week

Dustin 2 years

Gratitude Post 17

Finally, after the longest day I've had in ages, I'm sitting down to blog. Today's gratitude comes easy. My long day could have been hours longer if it weren't for the most amazing kitchen gadget ever!

Gratitude Day 17: I'm grateful for my KitchenAid Mixer.

Today, I had a really big order going out for my business, "Sweet Eats" by Joli. There was a family celebrating a Sweet 16 party, and I was blessed enough to be able to bake for them. The order was one of the biggest I've had so far: 8 dozen cake ball pops and 7 dozen cupcakes! Wow!! It took me 4 days to get it all finished, piping out the last of the icing this afternoon just before delivery! My amazing mixer whipped through those batches of cakes like nobody's business! Icing was done in just minutes! It was one of the best purchases I've ever made!

Gratitude Post 16

I'm now officially more than halfway through the month! My blessings are continuing with ease, and I love having something to post about each day.

Gratitude Day 16: I'm grateful for my dog.

I was very, very adamant about not getting a dog. We had a puppy a few years ago and it didn't work out, she was more than I could handle with 2 small kids, the last thing I wanted was a dog now that we have 3 small kids! One day, Dustin called me from work and told me an officer rescued a puppy from a car and brought her up to dispatch, and somehow, she managed to attach herself to him. It was right around the girls birthdays so I caved-what child doesn't want a sweet puppy for their birthday?

Now, nearly 18 months later, I love her to bits. Lylli was a fabulous addition to our family, she's growing right along 3 kids who love to have her. It's a wonderful feeling to see them be greeted by her when we come home. They care for her, making sure she has food and water, they pet her and love to play with her throughout the day.

I hope the kids have great memories of her when they remember their childhood, growing up with a household pet. I did, I had a dog for 14+ years and loved every minute of it. Deep down, I'm truly happy we have her.

Gratitude Post 15

Did I miss another day? Appears so. Darn it. Here's another double whammy.

Gratitude Day 15: I'm grateful for my washing machine.

There are days I literally watch the laundry pile up around me. 5 people in 1 house is no joke when it comes time to do the chores. That's 5 dishes to clean after each meal; 5 pair of shoes at the end of the day to line up by the door; and 5 outfits to wash when it's time for clean clothes. No one in our house wears pajamas more than one night, so add 5 pair of those in there too. In fact, I believe I blogged about this once before, it eventually got on my nerves so bad I had to create a schedule for washing clothes! There's not a single day that I don't have a load scheduled. To keep this home running smoothly, I just suck it up and push through. If I get behind a day, you better believe we all notice!

I know back in the day, washing machines didn't exist, and that just blows my mind. The scene from "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory" pops into my head, when Charlie's mom is washing laundry in those big nasty bins. Not my idea of a good time. And back then, families were huge! Tons of kids! Sounds nearly impossible to me! I may be too reliant on modern conveniences, but this is one things I truly appreciate!

Gratitude Post 14

Today I have so much to do I hardly know where to start. Yikes.

Gratitude Day 14: I'm grateful for coffee.

Every morning starts out the same. I'm tired, dragging ass out of bed, no matter what time I go to bed the night before. The kids know not to even talk to me until I've at least started the coffee pot, and if you don't want your head bit off, let me at least have a few sips first.

In high school, I could rely on a soda or a tea first thing in the morning, I was used to running on fumes then. You would think by now I wouldn't have such an issue with no sleep, but for some reason I can hardly function without my morning cup.

Ok, let's not kid ourselves. I need at least two cups every morning or you're at risk for losing your face.

For some reason, coffee any other time than the morning doesn't really do much for me. I can drink it until I'm ready for bed and fall asleep with ease, but when I need to wake up at 7am, it totally does the trick.

Gratitude Post 13

Yesterday was such a long day, I had every good intention of posting my gratitude, but let's face it, life got in the way. So, again, today I'll hammer out two for anybody out there who actually cares enough to read my mindless ramblings.

Gratitude Day 13: I'm grateful for my phone.

I'm sure this post sounds awful unintelligent, maybe even a little selfish, but I am truly grateful for my phone. With it, I'm able to take photos and capture moments while I'm on the go. I have the ability to talk to my husband throughout the day while he's at work no matter where I am or what I'm doing. I can choose to answer, or not answer, a phone call or text message just based on the number I see on the screen. Most of all, it allows me to keep in touch with those who don't live nearby. During the hard times, I'm only a phone call or text away. When there's good news, a photo message is the best way to hear about it. I love being able to share my life with friends and family, near and far, with the aid of my cell phone.

Gratitude Post 12

Today, I felt like I was going to rip my hair out. My kids were wild, crazy, unruly even. They didn't listen to a word I said, I raised my voice more than I do in a month, and by the time they finally hit the sack, I was utterly exhausted. Some days are a constant struggle, and others seem to just fly by so easily.

Gratitude Day 12: I'm grateful for Laila's insulin pump.

Sometimes, I think this should have been the first thing I was grateful for this month, but I've tried to steady myself and not get too excited when I do these posts. Each night before bed, Laila checks her sugar, anything between 130 and 180 at this time of night is a winner. I can't let her go to bed any lower than 130, but anything higher than 180 is just too high. Though her daytime numbers are a little lower than this, these numbers are still a good guideline when I discuss her sugar levels with people.

This morning, Laila's sugar was 402. Extremely, extremely high. She was able to give herself insulin with her pump, check her sugar again an hour later, and once it had come down, she was able to give herself more insulin to cover the food she was having for breakfast, all with her pump. Each time she checked today, every snack or meal she had, her pump administered insulin for her.

Laila checks her sugar roughly 8-10 times a day, which means 8-10 pokes to her finger. Each time she eats, she needs insulin, even the smallest cracker requires her to have insulin. With her pump, she's able to eat as frequently and as much as she wants (within the limits of what I allow). The pump automatically calculates how much insulin she needs to bring her blood sugar down to her target range, and how much insulin she needs to cover the food she's eating. The wizard truly takes so much stress and pressure out of my day, it's unbelievable. Shots are ancient history for her, there were times she would eat and still be hungry, or just skip a snack because she didn't want the additional poke. The insulin pump allows her so much freedom, it literally brings me to tears. No child wants to get a shot, my other two scream at the thought of getting poked, and my sweet Laila was getting 8+ shots a day. With the pump, she changes her site once every 3 days, one big poke and she's done. She leaves her site on and takes her tubing and pump off for showers, swimming, and any extra rough activities.

Amazing doesn't even begin to cover how I, as her mom, feel about Laila's pump. The advances I have witnessed first hand since she started pumping just over a year ago are breath taking. I'm proud to be a mom of a diabetic, I'm impressed by her every day, and I hope my endless posts reach someone out there who needs the support, someone who needs to know they're not alone.

Gratitude Post 11

Another long day has passed and it's nearly time for bed. As I reflect on the day, the month, the year, I am grateful for so many things. Tonight, I'm choosing something completely and totally superficial, and I don't even care. 

Gratitude Day 11: I'm grateful for television.

I don't get a lot of "me" time, and when I do, I love to indulge in mindless television. It's a true story. Tonight, I'm watching the train wreck "Breaking Amish". I watched the very first episode and thought it wasn't for me, but I got sucked in and now the season finale is on. I don't record a lot of television shows, typically I'd rather read, but every night before I go to bed, I like to unwind by watching someone else's drama.

As a mom of 3, I'm very selective of what I let my children watch. There is a small number of shows I allow them to watch, but when they are allowed to watch it, they are usually glued to it! If I need a shower, a few extra minutes in the morning, or some time to get chores done, I'll admit to turning on the boob tube for a quick break. 

Taking a car ride has never been easier now that I have a vehicle with a dvd player in it-Dora to the rescue every time! Without it, running errands would take a lot longer, long trips wouldn't exist for us, and getting my son into the car would be nearly impossible! Thank you, modern technology!

Gratitude Post 10

Tonight, I'm having a hard time counting my blessings. I'm thankful for this blog, it reminds me to look around closely at the things I take for granted. It's easy to get frustrated with my kids, but I have them, they're healthy and they're mine. I get discouraged looking at the mess in my living room, but my home is safe, dry, and paid for. When I get down, I take a minute to think about how fortunate I really am.

Gratitude Day 10: I'm grateful for long distance friendships.

I have friends here in Arizona, great friends, and I love them dearly. But I also have friends that don't live here, and they hold a special place in my heart. I loving being able to pick up a phone and send a text, or find something special in the mail waiting for me. The reassurance of knowing there's someone out there thinking of me, it's a satisfying feeling.

I love having lots of friends, some friends I can cook with, others I can party with. Some of my friends like to read, others love to dance. My long distance friends, we have a special bond. We don't get to watch Grey's in the morning and drink coffee while our kids play, we can't grab a drink at happy hour, and we can't spend the afternoon shopping and getting pedicures. We have to rely on a each other, on a realationship that can't be seen, but that can be felt. Our visits are sometimes far between, months, years even, and that doesn't change anything. We have the ability to pick up where we left off, slip back into a smooth routine and easy conversation. These are the moments that make our friendships worth it. There are times it would be easier to just skip the phone call, walk past the card aisle and pass on the few minutes it takes to address an envelope, but that's what makes these friendships survive. I'm grateful for them, for the special people in my life who have stayed by my side even when it's not easy, even when I'm not there, even when we don't talk for days or months. You, my friends, mean everything to me.

Brandi-Lyn! 

Nessa!

Nicole!

Tony!

p.s. Jessica, there is no photo of us...I'm sorry!

Gratitude Post 9

I fell behind a day, but that's alright. It's my blog, and I do what I want. And today, I want to post two, so this is counting for yesterday. It's still hard to choose just one thing each day to be grateful for, and some of them I'd like to repeat already (framily!), but I shall press on and pick something new.

Gratitude Day 9: I'm grateful for books

I've been a bookworm ever since I can remember. I have memories of sneaking into the back of my closet to ready when my mom told me to go outside and play, or times when I would hide a flashlight under my pillow so I could just finish one last chapter even though it was past bedtime. When my mom was sick, she spent a lot of time in bed. I would read to her every night, as long as she'd let me. Sometimes, after she went to sleep, I'd read ahead and never tell, I just couldn't wait for the next night to see where the book was taking me. Books have always been an escape for me, an alternative reality where my problems are long forgotten, and I'm focused on the characters. I love finding a good author, one that can take me many places, transform my mind somewhere else, it's breathtaking.

As I watch my kids grow, flip through books page by page, I adore the way the crave more. It's like watching my self all over again, as a child who just can't get enough to read. I hope my kids grow up to love books as much as I did, and still do.

Gratitude Post 8

I'm grateful for many things, big and small. Some can be seen, others can only be felt or heard.

Gratitude Day 8: I'm grateful for music.

I've always been in love with music, I played the flute for years, and eventually added the baritone, too. I participated in marching band, concert and symphonic band, and my senior year of high school I taught 5th grade students to play brass instruments, and I absolutely loved it. Playing used to fill me inside, it was something I could do for myself, no one could take it away from me, it was mine. Eventually, I stopped playing and started listening. I fall asleep listening to music every night, and have a wide genre of bands and musicians I love listening to.

I find myself listening to music more and more often lately. Whether I'm just washing the dishes and need something to groove to, or if I'm having a bad day and need a pick me up, music can almost always change my mood. Certain songs remind me of people, places, times I've had-some good, some bad-and it's always amazing to me how that happens. Memories can be jogged by hearing the opening chords to a song I thought I'd never hear again. I'm grateful for the passion I've always had for music, and for those who have the passion to keep producing it.

Gratitude Post 7

Another beautiful day has passed that I spent with my family, and it reminded me how blessed we are to be together. No one is deployed, no one is in the hospital, and we are all alive and well. That brings me to my gratitude for today.

Gratitude day 7: I'm grateful for our health.

In the grand scheme of things, we're all healthy and happy. I can't express what that means to me, to be able to say we're all healthy. There was a brief time, right before Laila's diagnosis, when we were unsure of our future. Any time a trip to the emergency room is required, it's a scary feeling, even if it's just for stitches. Kenadi has been my one and only to have stitches, though we've had many, many ER visits. Another brief time, before Dustin, Jr.'s surgery, when we were concerned about him walking. These battles we've faced and overcome, and we've come out on top.

Yes, Laila has diabetes. Yes, it's a chronic illness. Yes, she's sick, and no you can't see it, but as long as long as we check her sugar and keep it under control, she's as healthy as the next child.

Laila's bracelet for doctor visit check-ins

Playing at the park, Kenadi split her chin open on a cement bench. 3 stitches later, she's been the scariest urgent care visit yet. Thankfully, nothing serious like a broken bone has ever happened, yet anyway.

Kenadi's 3 stitches!

Dustin, Jr. had spinal cord surgery at just 9 months old, his spinal cord was tethered at the base of his spine. Without it, he would be in excruciating pain, causing him difficulty standing, walking, or running. The surgery was a success, no complications, and now he runs as fast as a bullet.

Dustin's back, pre-surgery

With so many accidents just waiting to happen, just waking up every morning is a blessing. Staying healthy is even better, ensuring another day with my beautiful loves.

Gratitude Post 6

Today is a pretty monumental day, it's election day! Sort of inspiring my post, if you get my drift.

Gratitude Day 6: I'm grateful for my freedom.

As a woman, as an adult, and as a citizen of the United States of America, I'm grateful for my freedom. I'm able to dress as I please, say what I choose, and I have the right to voice my opinion without fear of harm. Today, I voted for the very first time. I know, I've been eligible for 10 years, what's taken me so long? I have anxiety. Making a choice, feeling responsible, that's huge in my book, I just never felt I was ready.  Now that Laila is growing up, she's asking questions-lots of questions-about anything and everything.
With the election date nearing closer and closer, I was becoming painfully aware of how negligent I appeared, how irresponsible I sounded to my own daughter, and to myself. So today, I made a change, I got out there, and I did it! With a little extra boost, I exercised my right to vote, and it sure was liberating!

I try to remind my children how lucky they are, how many lives are lost each and every day to protect their freedoms, and mine. We are free to make choices, any and all choices, good or bad choices, right or wrong choices, they're ours to make. That is something to never be taken for granted.

Gratitude Post 5

It's getting even harder to choose the things that I'm grateful for, because I know the month won't last forever! It's so inspiring to feel overwhelmed with blessings each and every day. The holidays are never an easy time for me, I harbor a lot of bitter feelings from my past, and this helps me to move forward and on with my life.

Day 5: I'm grateful for "Framily". (Disclosure, the picture below is not meant to offend anyone, I don't have a picture of everyone I feel falls into this category, but this photo best depicts the small group of people I intend to include).

I have a pretty large family, in fact, it's so big there are many members I've never even met. However, none of them live close by. The closest members are easily 6-7 hours away by car, an hour or two by plane. The phone is great, but nothing compares to having someone close to your heart be close by for a visit, a helping hand, or offer the support only a family member truly can. That being said, I have had to make my own family, out of the friends I've selected for myself. These people, I call my "framily". We're not all the same age, nor are we at the same place in our lives, and that's what makes it so special. Some of these women can offer advice and experience, others ask me for help. The mutual relationship I have with these women, their families, we've blended in a way I've only read about in storybooks. They're the ones I turn to when I'm down, the ones who I can count on when I'm in a pinch, the ones I share my laughter with and the ones who wipe my tears. I'm grateful for them, at this point in my life, I've never had friends-framily-like this.

Gratitude Post 4

With still so many things to choose from, my gratitude posts shall continue! This is such a fun time of year for me, I love looking around myself and seeing all I have to he thankful for.

Day 4: I'm grateful for housework.

Sounds crazy, right? Grateful for housework? It's much deeper than that. I'm glad to have a home to clean. I have a nice, fairly new washer and dryer, and plenty of clothes to keep my children warm on cool days. I have a dishwasher, and enough dishes for my family to eat off of, and a refrigerator full of food to feed them. I have a new vacuum cleaner, and carpet in my home to keep clean.

When I left home for the first time, I was still a child. I had someone helping me with my laundry, the cooking, and even the grocery shopping. That wasn't the life I wanted, but this-what I have now, is exactly what my dreams are made of. Loads of laundry, piles of dishes, lunches to pack, floors to clean, beds to make, groceries to buy, bills to pay-I'm grateful to have these things, these chores, in my life. It means I have the money in my account to pay the bills, to buy food, a home to live in, beds to sleep in, and clothes for my family. I may not have it all, I may not always have enough, but what I have is enough for me.

Gratitude Post 3

Another day is coming to a close, and I still have so much to be thankful for, it's hard to choose. Tonight, my children are sleeping, my husband is working, and the dog is curled up at my feet. There is laundry piling up and dishes in the sink, but I'm safe and sound, and that's more than I had at one point in my life.

Day 3: I'm grateful for my safety.

I live in a home with all the windows in tact, the locks all function, and I know where all the exits are. Not only in my home am I safe, but in my relationship, I feel secure. Never, ever, has Dustin ever put me in a compromising position, one that I felt threatened or hurt in. For this, I am grateful, not just today, but always.

I never dreamed I'd find myself in a relationship where I was scared to leave, afraid to talk back, terrified to breathe-but that was me. Years ago I ran myself into the ground with drugs and alcohol, I was so lost in a haze, I used it as an excuse for the rest of the wrong things in my life, I was so worthless I deserved the abuse.

Now, nearly a decade later, I know my own worth. I'm aware of the things I deserve, and the things I don't. I have standards, and they're high, and I'm okay with that. Proud, even. Proud of where I've been, and where I am now, and where I am now is safe.

Gratitude Post 2

As I look around and see all the things I'm blessed with, I find it so hard to choose just one for each day and it's only day two. What a wonderful problem to have!

Day 2: I'm grateful for my children.

To me, nothing quite compares to the feeling in your heart when one of your children tells you they love you. I never get tired of hearing I'm the best mommy ever, in fact, I strive for that title daily. It's the best job I've ever had, and I wouldn't trade these babies for anything.

Each of my children are very different in so many ways. They have all taught me things about myself and lessons in life that only a small child could teach. I sometimes forget these moments will never come around again once they have passed me by, and I need to cherish each and every one of them. One day I'll miss packing school lunches and leaving little notes inside, or watching Dora in the morning instead of the weather channel while I drink my coffee, or not sleeping in on the weekends, or finding crayon all over the walls, or giving them a bath and giggling through the mounds of bubbles. The responsibility is almost overwhelming at times, but the reward at the end of each day is priceless.

From the moment each of those bloody, screaming babies landed on my chest in the delivery room, my heart was stolen, first by Laila, then Kenadi, and last, by Dustin Jr. I can see myself in them, not just in their physical features, but in the way Laila laughs, or how Kenadi holds a crayon, or when I watch Dustin Jr sleep. They are compassionate and kind, gentle and loving; they're opinionated and strong, proud and independent; they're everything I ever wanted them to be. Most importantly, they're mine.

Happy Halloween From The Smith's!

Yesterday was Halloween and the kids were thrilled to finally be able to dress up! We had an eventful day yesterday, so I waited to post this until today.

First thing in the morning, Laila's school had an awards assembly for the first quarter and we were invited to attend. The teachers gave out awards for perfect attendance, then each class honored the students chosen for the responsibility award and the most improved award. It was no surprise Laila earned the responsibility award for the 3rd year in a row! I'm still so proud of her, and she was proud of herself, too.

Up on stage after receiving her award!

Hugs from daddy!

With her award and "responsibility" pencil!

After school was over the kids all got ready to go "Trunk or Treat" at the local park! This was the first year in 5 years Dustin was off work and able to attend the festivities with us. I must say, "Trunk or Treat" is such an awesome idea! I love how clean, safe, and well planned the event is, this was our second year attending and I was beyond pleased! This year the girls dressed up and Dustin Jr. had different plans, he was not wearing a costume for anything, so we settled on a soccer jersey and warm up pants.

Laila, the cutest witch ever!

Kenadi, as "Tangled" (Rapunzel)

My beautiful girls!

My sweet clan!

They don't look the tiniest bit alike, do they?

After the "Trunk or Treat" experience, we went over to our friend, Bobbi-Jo's house for a little house to house trick or treating! The girls went with Bobbi-Jo's daughter and little D slept. Dustin and I had fun visiting and chatting while the girls collected candy close by. Thanks to my strategic planning, we were home and the kids were bathed and in bed by 7:30pm! A little later than normal considering it was a school night, but still within good time! The girls each picked a sandwich bag full of candy and left a big offering for The Switch Witch, who came and took all the candy and left awesome prizes instead! Laila and Kenadi woke up this morning to find matching Jack o' Lantern aprons, a Halloween pillow and matching blanket! Mega score!

I hope you all had a safe and fun Halloween!

Gratitude Post 1

I try and count my blessings each and every day, I have so much to be thankful for, but November always brings out the spirit of posting a daily blog about the things in my life that make my heart skip a beat. This year is no different than the last, I have so many blessings in my life, it's time I recognize each and every one of them.

Day 1-I'm grateful for my husband. 

Cliche? Probably. 

Do I care? Not one bit.

This past week D has been on vacation, and it really gave us time to reconnect. We have spent the days laughing and playing games, spending time with our kids and working on our home. The nights have flown by as we discussed our hopes and dreams for ourselves, our children, and our marriage. I have a greater appreciation for the hours he spends away, and he has a better feel for the endless hours I pour into housework, raising our family, being a wife, and finding time for everything in between. We've had more than our fair share of bad moments, but we pull through and look forward to the good times that remind us why, every day, we still choose each other. He's constantly striving for the next best thing, he works hard so I can afford to stay home and raise our children to the best of my ability, and he trusts me to do so. When I need a sugar coated fairy tale, he's my man, but when I need to hear the truth, he tells me like it is. Together, we have traveled across the country and started a new life, we've laughed, cried, been scared and laughed until we couldn't catch our breath. The memories we've made are priceless, he's the best friend I always dreamed of having. Without him, I wouldn't be here, today, right now, posting this blog, so tonight, I'm thankful to have this man standing behind me in my corner every minute of every day.