New Year's Eve!

I wanted to make sure I carved out time to blog today, even if it takes me a few tries to finish it. I have been doing so many photo challenges and what not, I haven't taken much time for me to write about what I want-my feelings, ideas, opinions, and whatnot.

I went back this morning and looked at my post from this same day last year, and it made me chuckle to myself. New Year's Eve is always considered such an important day, it's the time reserved for saying goodbye to the old, and hello to the new, closing doors and opening new ones, allowing-and even bringing-change into your life. I'm happy to report this year, I've hopped on that bandwagon.

Last year, my resolution was to be more decisive. I'd like to think I've done just that. Though it may take me longer to make decisions than most, I know that I have taken my time and weighed the options. My biggest decision in 2011 was to open my own at-home business- "Sweet Eats" by Joli It was a terrifying moment, I invested a lot of myself, my finances, my time and energy into it, and I feel as though it was one of the best decisions I've ever made. Even if I never leave the comforts of my own home, if I have made one person satisfied with the treats I made, that makes me feel on top of the world.

This year, I've decided to be a little more bold with my resolutions, though I prefer to say it's more of a "to-do" list than a resolution list. Some of the items are a one-time event, others are a lifestyle change, either way, they're things that need to get done and I'm tired of slacking. I think tomorrow I will try to make a more official list, which isn't permanent, but definitely a guideline for success.

Tomorrow is a new day, and new days bring new beginnings! Here's to a great 2012!

25 Days of Christmas Days 24 & 25!

This is it! It's come down to the end and I'm thankful it's over! This photo challenge was a little difficult, but it was fun none the less.

Day 24: Children Sleeping

I can't get all 3 of my kids sleeping in one picture, but I can squeeze 2 of them in! I let Kenadi and Laila sleep in the same bed last night, they were so excited they could hardly contain their giggles!

Day 25: The Number 25

Laila helped me out with the final picture of the challenge! We had a great day, and I hope you all did, too. Merry Christmas and God Bless!

Christmas Day!

Christmas day has come, and almost gone already. It seems like the days are just flying by before my eyes! We had a great Christmas today, Dustin was able to be home in the morning to open gifts and my dad stayed to spend Christmas with us. The kids made out like bandits, as usual, only they were so fast opening their gifts I didn't get a single picture! Before I even got my camera turned on and ready there was a flurry of wrapping paper and they were gone away with their presents!

This time of year is always hard for me, today seeming unusually difficult. Dustin had to go into work this afternoon for an 8 hour shift, which means 10 hours away from home including drive time. The kids were bummed that he had to leave, and things with my dad and I haven't been exceptionally well lately. It seems as though the older we both get, the more we butt heads. It's not just the big things either, but the small little details. I'm not sure exactly what's going on, but it saddens me.

Christmas time always marks the end of the year for me, even though there are still a few days left. I know new things are coming soon, and it makes me anxious! We have major plans for the new year, I'm just hoping everything goes smoothly and no major road blocks pop up. Today is one of those days I really appreciate my husband. I'm sure I don't tell him enough, but just the every day necessities he provides are more than enough of a Christmas present-the rest is just icing on the cake! The kids and I had such an amazing Christmas, all because of the hard work and long hours he puts in. He provides us a home to live in, food to eat, clothes to wear, and everything else we need. Days like today, I'm worried he'll be pushed to the back burner, his gifts just aren't good enough because honestly, what's good enough for the one who gives and loves unconditionally?

I hope the rest of this year flies by, January is supposed to be amazing for "Sweet Eats", I can hardly stand the anticipation! Also, keep a look out for new things around here. I'm going to try a 365 day photo challenge, a personal challenge, just one photo a day. I plan to upload and blog once a week and do a little recap of how things are going around here. I think it's time for bigger and better things. Goodnight, sleep tight, and Merry Christmas!

25 Days of Christmas Day 23

Ahh we're nearing the end! Bittersweet, but I look forward to a few days of no picture taking before I begin my 365 day adventure!

Day 23: A Shining Star

This is the star at the top of my tree. Sad, I know. It's fallen over countless times, but it keeps on shining!

25 Days of Christmas Day 22

I had to dig deep for this one, I'm horrible about Christmas cards!

Day 22: Holiday Greetings

If you see yours in this pile, you're one lucky dog. That means it made it out of the envelope and onto the counter!

25 Days of Christmas Day 21

I wonder where the people that create these challenges come up with the ideas for them. Hmm.

Day 21: Tiny Tots With Their Eyes All Aglow

My sweet babies all bundled up and ready to go visit Santa! They were so excited! I just love them to bits!

25 Days of Christmas Day 20

This one makes me miss home. More than I'll ever admit.

Day 20: Winter Wonderland

I miss the snow, the beautiful snowflakes glistening in the sun. Not enough to ever move back though.

25 Days of Christmas Day 19

This one I had to find online, sorry, but I haven't left the house in 2 days.

Day 19: Toys in every store

This picture pretty much sums it up, I hate shopping, and there's no way in hell I'm going into a store like that with 3 kids!

25 Days of Christmas Day 18

This photo is one I took sometime this month, but we didn't have any hot chocolate today, so I'm pulling this one out of my reserve.

Day 18: A cup of cheer

My kids sure do love hot coca, but honestly, they prefer coffee! I don't let them have it, but I do let them have hot cocoa!

Here Comes Santa Claus!

Tonight, my dad and I took the kids to see Santa Claus at a local house here in Maricopa! The couple dress up as Mr. & Mrs. Claus, and they don't charge a thing! They do request you bring one unopened toy and one nonperishable food item, and you're allowed to stay as long as you want, take as many pictures as you want, and even the adults can sit on Santa's lap! The girls were very excited, they were having a hard time standing still and waiting in line! Little Dustin wasn't sure what was going on, but when it came time for him to sit on Santa's lap, he was having no part of it!

25 Days of Christmas Day 15, 16, and 17

Back to being behind! Wow, I love playing catch-up. 3 in 1 today!

Day 15: Silver Bells

Found these suckers hanging outside "Santa's" House tonight when we took the kids. Check my next blog to see how well it went-or, didn't go.

Day 16: Hippopotamus 

Yes, I just went there. One of my children is receiving this game for Christmas. Hang me now.

Day 17: Mistletoe

I have to thank my wonderful neighbor, Josie, for snapping this picture for me! She leaves her mistletoe up year round! I have never had any, but if I did, this is probably the same place I'd hang it from!

25 Days of Christmas Day 14

This one I had to improvise, sorry.

Day 14: A decked hall

I have a "hall", well, a hallway, but it's surly not decked. I have minimal decorations up this year, and this is about as decked as it's ever gonna get. 

25 Days of Christmas Day 13

Damnit, another day behind. Meh.

Day 13: Reindeer

Laila made this ornament 2 years ago at preschool! I've dreamed of the days my tree would be filled with cute photos and ornaments the kids made. Even if I can't stand decorating and Christmas paraphernalia, I love anything my kids make me, and I love that reindeer.

Snow in Arizona!

Sounds crazy, right? Snow? In Arizona? Well, I suppose anything is possible!

I'm not sure exactly the who, what, and why, but I do know that snow was brought to Arizona on Saturday for the kids to play in and we missed it! I wasn't sure then where it was, but we spotted the leftovers today and my girls got a chance to play in it!

I like to think of myself as spontaneous, but within reason, so when I pulled the car over in a vacant parking lot and told the kids to hop out, Laila was a bit concerned! The snow patch wasn't all that big, most of it had melted and left mud, and combined with the rain we had today, it was more mush than anything-but to a child, it was close to a miracle! Here are the shots I managed to snap before the rain started again:

25 Days of Christmas Day 12

This one literally took me all day to decide what to photograph!

Day 12: Something sticky

Post-its. In my opinion, those bad boys stick to everything.

25 Days of Christmas Day 11

This one is another one of those pics I had to find online, I don't have it and I haven't been to the store today.

Day 11: Ribbons and bows

I don't like Christmas. I hate wrapping presents. Even more, I can't stand cleaning up more trash than I need to, so I skip out on the ribbons and bows. Sorry for the disappointment. 

25 Days of Christmas Day 10

I'm current as of this post! Hopefully, it'll stay that way!

Day 10: Away in a manger

This is up on the top of my cabinets, the kids seem to have trouble keeping their hands to themselves and no one wants to see a headless Jesus, Mary, or Joseph.

25 Days of Christmas Day 9

Here's an easy one!

Day 9: Santa Claus

That's one of the cute little crafts I picked up for Laila this year, it's a mosaic of Santa! She had a great time doing it, and it looks super cute hanging in our living room.

25 Days of Christmas Day 8

Again, I fell behind. Maybe one day I'll catch up and stay caught up.

Day 8: Stamped and addressed Christmas cards

Finally!! No pictures this year, my squad decided not to play nice!

25 Days of Christmas Day 7

This is a photo I couldn't take today, sorry. I don't have the item and didn't see one while I was out today, so you get one I found online.

Day 7: A wreath with a red bow

We have a wreath on our front door, it's decorated with lights all over it, but no bow. And honestly, I'm not getting up to take a picture of it, so this is what you get. I'm not a big holiday person, but this is a pretty decent wreath in my book.

25 Days of Christmas Day 6

I'm beginning to love the ease of this "Photo Challenge"!

Day 6: A Candy Cane (or many)

Personally, I'm not a fan of peppermint. I don't buy candy, ever, unless it's necessary. Buying candy is never necessary. I don't have candy canes in my house, and I doubt I ever will. I snapped this shot really quickly today at the grocery store, thank goodness I was able to find a clean display of pretty candy canes!

25 Days of Christmas Day 5

Ahh, this one was hard to decide! It's all in good fun, though, so this is what I came up with.

Day 5: Something Warm & Tasty

This is how I start my morning, every morning. I used to be a tea drinker, but I fell in love with coffee creamer, and the ability to have multiple flavors throughout the week. I love having a programmable coffee pot that has a fresh pot waiting for me each morning, and knowing I can have multiple cups without having to wait between each to warm a new mug of water is even better. 

Another Year Has Passed

It seems as though this day creeps up on me every year. Just when I think I'm going places, making progress, here it is again, tapping me on the shoulder and reminding me another year has passed; reminding me of what I lost, where I've been, and who I've become.

Just last week, Dustin and I were going through boxes of our personal effects that were stored away in the garage and I found some old perfume that belonged to my mom. I opened them, smelled them, and was whisked away to a time when I was a child. I remember sneaking into her bedroom and smelling her sweet perfumes, making sure to line them up exactly the way she left them. All I wanted was to be like her. Smelling those bottles the other night put me at peace. I had no idea what day it was, how much time was swirling past me, I thought I was finally feeling content knowing she was gone. 

Last night, feelings of anger, distaste, frustration, and self pity came rushing over me. I felt degraded, as if my feelings were childish, and as though something had been taken away from me. Anger will eat you alive, I'm a living testament to that statement, and over the past 14 years, I've been plenty angry. A majority of my anger is placed-properly if you ask me-at my mom. I feel as though she was selfish; she was so worried about herself that she never thought ahead to what life would be like for me, my dad, my brothers and sister, if she ever left us. I can't fathom, for even the briefest of seconds, putting anything before my children. Not a thing.

Another, smaller portion of my anger has been strategically placed at the hands of those who, "know how you feel", or "have been there". Don't get me wrong, there are people who have experienced similar situations, and some of my closest friends are included, and they're the exception to the rule here. Strangers, acquaintances, even some friends and family fall into this category. Unfortunately, with me, it's often best if you just say nothing at all.

I have additional issues, and these are not anything I feel like sharing or working on anytime soon. I feel the unstoppable urge to share how I do feel about things that have transpired, and I know feelings other than my own will be hurt, and now is not the time and place. This is my blog, but I don't feel like taking anything away from anyone, even if that's what I felt like they did to me. 

My mom was, simply, my mom. A mom changes diapers, brushes your hair, sends you off to school in your best clothes for picture day and hangs your kindergarten artwork proudly in her home. My mom was there for me when I had my first crush, she listened to my problems, she laughed and cried with me, and no one can take that away. We bought my first musical instrument together, read the same kinds of books, memorized the beginning scene to "The Odd Couple", and polished each other's nails. My mom bought me my first bra, was there when I entered womanhood, and helped me through the tough times. No one, not a soul, can say they shared those moments with her. You can't just walk into someone's life and expect them to be yours. There is a level of respect, trust, and love that needs to be earned, but with a mother, it's just the natural way of life. Our bond is one that can't be broken, no matter where she is. 

Now these hurtful feelings have resurfaced, years later, and I worry they will never be resolved. If someone was so jealous of the relationship my mother and I had, I pity their soul. To call someone "mom" is an honor, one not to be taken lightly. Any woman can mother a child, but it takes someone special to be their mom. It's not necessary for the bond to be by blood, but please, don't try to call someone "Mom" that didn't fill those shoes for you, you never know who's toes you'll be stepping on, and who's sitting on the sidelines with their heart breaking because you tried to take away what little they had left.

25 Days of Christmas Day 4

This is a photo from Christmas day last year, 2010.

Day 4: Presents wrapped under the tree

This picture isn't just wrapped presents, it's a picture of two of my presents that I'm thankful for every day. Even though they're not always under a tree, they're gifts I feel like I open every day when they teach me something new, make me laugh, or tell me they love me. Otherwise, the wrapped gifts you see there, they don't appear until Christmas morning at our house. The kids all still believe in Santa. 

25 Days of Christmas Day 3

I'm not a big fan of Christmas, I hate the music, the hypocrisy, the decorations, all that garbage. Blah. That being said, it's already December 3 and I don't have my big tree up yet. This is as good as it gets for now.

Day 3: The Christmas Tree

This tree sits on my kitchen counter, I call it my "teeny tiny tree", Laila just calls it sad. Either way, it's mine. It's been with me for a long time, and as much as I dislike Christmas, this is one constant I can always depend on this time of year. I know that, without fail, I'll wake up and find a teeny tiny present under my teeny tiny tree on Christmas day.

25 Days of Christmas Day 2

Already I love this challenge! So exciting, I'm glad to be sharing it with one of my besties!

Day 2: A list

Each week Laila brings home a new list of words, they are spelling words for the week, high frequency words, phonic skills, and vocabulary words. It's such a joy to work with her week after week and watch her learn and grow. She's so smart, I love being a part of her education!

25 Days of Christmas!

I found a new photo challenge, and we all know how much I love those! This one is only 25 days, and I think it looks like a lot of fun!

Day 1: Something Red

This is something red I found in my kitchen, and close to the core of my happiness. My zen is found when I use these bad boys. Can you blame me? No way.

Gratitude Photo Day 30

Wow, it's hard to believe, but it's finally over! This challenge was pretty amazing, it has opened my eyes to so many things I have taken for granted. I say my prayers every night and thank God for all that I have, but the smallest things often get dismissed, and this has brought them to the front of my mind. I love how I have examined so many little details of myself through this challenge. Thanks for following along, and thank you, Jessica, for sharing this with me!

Photo Challenge Day 30:

Self Portrait

I know this isn't a traditional self portrait, but I think it really defines me. A little hidden, a little mysterious. I am forever trying to fly below the radar, to just simply fit in-whatever that may be. I'm insecure, self conscious, doubtful, scared, and forever second guessing myself. I'm strong, independent, temper-mental, sassy, and witty. On a good day, I'm caring, generous, selfless, loving, and soft. I'm a wife, a mother, an aunt, a godmother, a daughter, and a sister. What really defines me from the rest, I'm not sure I'll ever know for sure, but I'm happy being me. I've found the man of my dreams who loves me for who I am, and I love who I am when I'm with him. 

Gratitude: I'm grateful for the life I'm living. I'm so thrilled to be alive, healthy, and happy. I'm grateful to have the freedom to make the choices in my life that I feel are best, and to have such an amazing husband and family to support me along the way. I'm grateful for this challenge, how it's opened my eyes to see things in a new light, to appreciate the little things in life, and to see the inner beauty of so many things I've seemingly looked past before.

Gratitude Photo Day 29

Tomorrow is the final day of our challenge! This month has passed by so quickly, and this challenge has been fun!

Gratitude Photo Day 29:

Light

That's my first Scentsy warmer, the cupcake! I love it to pieces, I rarely turn it off! It was a gift, and the beginning of my love of wickless candles! The wax comes in over 80 scents, so there is always something amazing smelling up my kitchen, even when I'm not baking!

Gratitude: I'm grateful for this little light, and all that it offers my kitchen! I love that it's one of those "little extras" I can afford to keep around, and I'm grateful it's just for me.

Gratitude Photo Day 28

I can't believe it's almost the end of this challenge! I hope my readers (ha!) have enjoyed this challenge as much as I have!

Gratitude Photo Day 28:

Nighttime

This is a picture of my living room, in the dark. Do you see anyone there? No? Me either. And that's just how I like it! I don't get a lot of "me" time, I always wake up early and my days always end late, but every night, around 8pm, my house looks like this. Once the kids are sound asleep and Dustin's still working, I turn all the lights off, grab my snuggie, and pick up a book or flip on the tv. I devour the minutes alone, in the peace and quiet.

Gratitude: I'm grateful for the nighttime, and the quiet peaceful feeling in my home. I'm so happy my children have a warm place to sleep, and I have a cozy couch to snuggle up on all alone. I need time to reflect on my day, plan for tomorrow, and enjoy the life I have around me.

The Kindest Words

I have a very, very close friend that blogs almost daily, and at times I think it's almost just for me. I know I joke about it with her if she doesn't that I'm lost, I need her blog, but it's true. I need that constant, the ability to slip away into someone else's life, so similar-yet so different from mine, and feel connected. I know I don't tell her enough how much I appreciate her, her blog, and her friendship. 

I had a rough day today, things with Laila and her blood sugars can send a seemingly normal day into a downward spiral faster than I can snap my fingers. Today was one of those days, and I wish there was something I could do to magically make things better. The phone rings, I hear the ringtone, and my stomach lurches, my throat tightens, and my heart beats fast. It's never good. No news is good news, it's only bad news when they call. I posted a little something on Facebook today, I feel like I have to share my feelings or I may just explode, but I try not to let on to too much. It's personal, the things I go through with Laila, and it's not exactly the kind of thing I think everyone should have to read about. I'm not looking for pity, sympathy, or sorrow. What I'm looking for is quite the opposite, what I need is support, strength, and empathy. 

Jessica didn't fail me tonight when she posted her blog, as promised. I hope she doesn't mind me copying and pasting it, but these are some of the kindest words I've read in a long time.

"Then I saw a post today about my Joli's little girl.  I don't know if I mention it here much but Joli's daughter, Laila, has diabetes (read her blog here).  I remember exactly where I was when I read about Laila's diagnosis.  I remember being at my parents house and going upstairs to tell my Mom about it and I remembering fighting back my tears so hard!  I wanted to just burst into tears for both Joli and Laila (and the rest of their wonderful family).  (Yup, and I'm crying now).  Today Joli posted how up and down (mainly WAY up) Laila's blood sugar levels were today.  I texted her some support and she said "I just feel so helpless!"  It was then that I really realized I have NO idea what they deal with on a daily basis.  I know what it's like to be a mother and to feel helpless.  Jerimiah has a fever or can't breath because of a cold and I feel helpless...but that passes.  Any given day Joli and Laila (I shouldn't forget to mention Dustin, Joli's wonderful husband either...but I don't know him as well...he's not left out intentionally) are in a constant struggle.  I'm sure they have days or even weeks where it's almost like Laila isn't "sick" and doesn't have Diabetes but when it comes back and bites them I just can't imagine!  She is such a strong little girl and she was blessed with such an amazing Mom!  (Sorry Joli, I wish I could do more than blog about it).

There you have it. Thankfully I grabbed the tissue when I saw my name, I had a feeling. It's moments like these, no matter how far away she may be, that I know I've got a friend. A true, lasting friendship. Thanks, Jessica, I know I don't say it enough.

Gratitude Photo Day 24, 25, 26, & 27

Ok, ok, I fell really far behind and I apologize. I'm going to catch up and hopefully finish this challenge out on time! I'm still unsure what to photograph for some of these, but I'll give it a go!

Gratitude Photo Day 24:

Gratitude

This is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to covering the word "gratitude", I don't think there's a single photo that can capture all the things I'm grateful for, but these beautiful babies are a great place to start.

Gratitude: Gratitude means to be thankful for something, and to show what I'm thankful for isn't easy! I am so incredibly blessed, I have beautiful children, an amazing husband, a house we've turned into a home, and everything in between. I'm able to provide food, clothing, and the little "extras" for my family that, to some, are not even an option. I'm grateful for so many things, words can't express them all. Most of all, I'm grateful for the simple fact that I have too many thing to be grateful for.

Gratitude Photo Day 25:

Artwork

This is a sample of the artwork I have hanging in my home made my Laila. I proudly hang these pictures in my kitchen, and can't wait for the day when Kenadi and Dustin Jr. are old enough to create masterpieces to fill more frames throughout my house!

Gratitude: I'm grateful for my children, the love and joy they bring really makes this house a home. I'm happy to be able to display their artwork in my home, I'm happy they're proud of the work they do.

Gratitude Photo Day 26:

Transportation

This is my minivan, my most recent birthday present, and pretty spectacular. This is not what I imagined I'd be driving at 27 years old, but it's really not that bad! Fully equipped and safe, it can carry my family from point a to point be in style!

Gratitude: I'm grateful for such a safe and reliable vehicle, and for the ability to afford it. I wouldn't have the life I do without my amazing husband who works so hard for us.

Gratitude Photo Day 27:

Daily Routine:

This isn't what any mother wants for their child, but this is all part of our daily norm. Laila has since switched to an insulin pump, but almost all the other supplies remain the same. Blood sugar checks 8 times a day, it almost seems endless. Some days it runs our lives, but most of the time, we run the show. You can never predict what Laila's sugar levels will be, but you can be prepared for them. 

Gratitude: I'm forever grateful for such a strong, independent little girl. Laila controls her life, and her diabetes. She smiles through the pain, laughs through the tears, and still manages to encourage me throughout the way. I'm grateful for the ability to supply her with the help she needs, to live so close to an amazing hospital, and to have a great support system. I'm grateful she's mine, and that God decided this is the life we need to live. 

Gratitude Photo Day 23

I did this one wrong, by accident, and I'm not fixing it! I'm tired, hungry, and not having a good day.

Gratitude Photo Day 23:

In Your Closet

This was supposed to be in my closet, but I guess I read it wrong and I took a photo in my girls closet. Either way, it looks about the same!

Gratitude: I'm grateful for the clothes hanging there each day to choose from, the shoes to cover their tiny feet, the closet to store those clothes, and the house we live in. All of these things, though seemingly small, are a big deal to me. I'm proud of the home we share, the clothes we wear, and the life we live. Even if there's someone out there with "better" clothes, a "bigger" house, or a "more glamorous" life, this is mine, and no one can take it away from me.

Gratitude Photo Day 22

This one seems easy enough!

Gratitude Photo Day 22:

Clothing

My washer is full, my dryer is full, and everyone's hamper is usually full, too. Does it make me stressed? Of course. But it also makes me feel satisfied. Happy. Proud even. Yes, I love laundry.

Gratitude: I'm grateful for the clothing I can provide for my kids. A warm coat during winter, a bathing suit to splash around in during summer, and everything in between. I know this is an essential many go without, and I'm grateful my family doesn't have to.

Gratitude Photo Day 21

This one couldn't be any easier, and thank goodness, because I've had a rough day.

Gratitude Photo Day 21:

Where you sleep

This is my bed, I took this photo from the doorway to my bathroom. The doorway you see in the photo leads to my living room. Exciting stuff, I know. This bed is pretty special though, it's one of the first pieces of furniture we actually purchased outright as a married couple! It's from Ikea, and what you can't see in the picture is the matching night stand and dresser!

Gratitude: I'm grateful for a warm, soft bed in a clean, safe home. There were times in my life I wasn't sure I had either of those things on a constant basis, and I do my best to not take them for granted.