I Am Beautiful Too

The past 3 weeks have been nothing short of amazing. Having my son has filled a void I never knew I had. He is one of the most precious gifts, and I don't want to miss a single second of it. I know one day, when he is grown, he will understand the love I have for him. Until then, kisses and hugs will have to do for now.

Dustin has been home for just over 3 weeks, which means he has been with me from the minute the baby was born until this afternoon, when he finally returned to work. Things have been a breeze; he has helped around the house, taken us out as a family, cooked, and helped take care of the kids. I told him he has been making me look bad, he makes it all look so easy. He admitted he could never do it as a full time job, and with me here to help with the kids while he folded clothes or ran to check the mail made things much easier. When he left today, I didn't cry, but I did feel like throwing myself a pity party. I became so dependent on him to help me with everything, I didn't even know where to start! I have done pretty decent for my first day alone, and further reinforcements arrive sometime tomorrow (my dad) so I should be just fine.

In addition to a wonderful, supportive husband, I have some pretty spectacular friends. A husband can only do so much, and there are things only a woman can fix. Not only did my friends cook meals for me and hold the baby every chance they got, they also hosted playdates and didn't forget to make me feel included. Everyone has been so understanding if I am late, tired, or grumpy-it's a great feeling.

Everything on the outside has been just picture perfect, but what about the inside? After having baby #3 I have felt a little more than undesireable to the eyes, if you know what I mean. I am pleased to say I can successfully wear jeans that fit, but a size bigger than before, and with my saggy, baggy stomach tucked inside. I knew what would happen if I had a baby, I took the risks and ended up with battle scars to prove it. This week I attended a playdate at a friend's house and couldn't believe my ears when someone told me I looked good, I chuckled and mentioned the awful sight my stomach has become, and how shot to hell my self-esteem is lately. How could anyone ever love what I had become, let alone find it attractive? Then, right before my eyes, I wittnessed something I will never forget. My friends gave me something irreplaceable, and completely priceless. One by one, these beautiful ladies that surrounded me lifted up their shirts and showed me their stomachs. I saw stretch marks, floppy skin, and scars. It was mind blowing, these girls are so pretty, I couldn't believe my eyes. I am not alone.

When I say these women are beautiful, I mean on the inside they are some of the sweetest people I've ever been lucky enough to call my friends, and on the outside, they are just stunning. Gorgeous. These women, these amazing women, have some of the best relationships I've ever seen. Husbands that love them, find them just absoultely perfect, and these relationships set such a fine example of love. I came home that day and as I recalled the afternoon for Dustin, I was in tears. He tells me all the time I'm beautiful, and it goes in one ear and out the other. He has to say that, he's my husband, and I'm his wife. I'm the mother of his children, he's required to think that. But the next time he told me, I believed it, thanks to my friends. Some lessons in life are meant to be learned the hard way, but this is a lesson I am glad I learned: I am beautiful, too.