Back to Square One

Yesterday afternoon I did the unthinkable. I stepped foot in a dentist office, sat in the chair, and actually let someone clean my teeth. Now, if you know me at all, you know it's literally been years since I've trusted anyone to get close enough to even see me smile. I had a really bad experience at the dentist a few years ago, and I have fought to not go back since. It had been at least 10 years before that since I had been for a cleaning, and after yesterday, I'd rather let my teeth rot and fall out before going back!

Now, let me start from the beginning, I am making this sound a lot worse than it might be to the innocent bystander. Dustin had a really bad infection in his mouth, he had a tooth that badly needed a root canal and the infection was so bad he needed to take an antibiotic 4 times a day until the bottle was gone. Dustin, stubborn, stubborn, Dustin, decided he knew better than the medicine and got about halfway through by his appointment. In his defence, the dentist office demanded payment in full at time of service, and we don't have an extra $500 laying around, so he was afraid he may not be able to get the procedure done. I recommended taking the pills to kill the infection anyway, he was not so great at remembering, and I'm sure you can imagine the end result. He was also prescribed something for the anxiety, and after taking one the night before and sleeping nearly 14 hours, he was afraid to take another one and be a zombie, so he passed on that too.

I managed to get myself to the dentist's office in one piece, however I was in tears just sitting in the parking lot. I loathe going to the dentist, they cause me severe anxiety. I wish I could have taken a whole bottle of Valium, but being pregnant, I had to tough it out. So, I meet the dentist, get in the exam room, and almost throw up in my lap. Thankfully, Dustin stayed with me the entire time and held my hand through the whole cleaning. This may sound silly to some, but without him, I would have detoured the car on the way there and ended up at Taco Bell with a chalupa in my hand instead. She found a few cavities, which I knew about already, and suggested starting a plan to knock them out, the ones on top were so small they could be done all at once and pain free. Haha, you can't bullshit a bullshitter!! I don't think so, lady.

After my appointment, they blocked out 2 hours for Dustin's root canal. My intention was to stay with him until he was numb, and go pick up the girls. Well, I guess you could say that's exactly what I did. I ended up staying with him through the entire procedure. The infection was so bad in his mouth the dentist was putting shots directly on the nerve and still not having much luck. I lost count after 10 injections, I just couldn't watch anymore. I refused a chair, sat on the floor, and just cried. I can't believe how much he actually felt. What astonished me even more, was how quickly the dentist pushed those needles in! I am not the person to ask about seeing a dentist, obviously, but I did find one I liked and trusted back in Michigan, and I never, ever felt a single thing. As Dustin was getting the first injection he was crying out in pain, he said it felt like hot pressure, and like he bit a cactus. Are you kidding me? I'm seriously considering paying for a plane ticket home just to have this little bit of work done by someone I know can give me a shot and have me feel nothing. I mean, NOTHING.

As much as I thought I had moved forward with conquering my fear, this set me back to square one. I understand the circumstances and variables were different for Dustin than the would be for me, but there is no way, no how, I will ever step foot back in that woman's dentist office again. Whew. Poor Dustin's going to have to get that crown finished alone.