One of THOSE Days

I am having another one of "those" days. The kind where hearing someone breathe is enough to make me want to rip my hair out. Not that I have any intention of going bald, but something has to give. I am stressed, tired, anxious, you name it. I am not sure why I feel this way, but these days are increasing rapidly. I have such a hard time figuring out why I'm so angry all the time, and placing my anger in the wrong place has become a common pass time of mine. Not my idea of a good time.

When it rains, it pours. I've hear that so many times it makes me sick. I have so much to be thankful for and happy about, yet I'm still a bundle of anger and rage. I find myself struggling to even be nice to my own kids and husband sometimes. Taking time away from them doesn't seem to help, instead of helping me to be thankful for them, it makes me more aware of the things that irritate me when I get back home. It's great to get a break, but when you come home to find the exact same mess you left, the same laundry waiting to be washed, the same dishes waiting to be clean, it gets a bit old. How on earth women did this years ago without half the technology we have today, I will never understand.

Yesterday, I wished to myself that for just one day the housework would do itself, the kids would change, feed, and bathe themselves, and I could just sleep. Sleep sounds so good right now, I'd consider losing a limb for just a few solid uninterrupted hours. I've tried the sleeping pills, turning the monitor off, drinking warm tea, and nothing seems to help. My doctor is out of ideas, so I must just be one of the crazies that can't get more than 3-4 hours at a time, and I'm destined to feel like garbage. I was thinking the other day about the last time I really got good sleep-you know the kind, where you wake up and don't even know what day it is anymore. Sadly, it's been years. I can pin-point it almost to the minute, and I haven't been able to duplicate it since.

I will keep on truckin, maybe one day I will make some headway...until then...