Single Mom

I'm going to write about something, it's a touchy subject, I'm well aware, but I have strong feelings about my situation. This isn't meant to offend anyone or hurt anyone's feelings, just getting it out there so I can feel better about being so bitter.


I want to clarify this post is about one person in particular, and everyone's situation is different. I give major, major props to single parents who have made good choices for themselves and their children. However, it's the selfish, lazy, irresponsible mothers out there who just don't give a damn about their child unless it benefits them that make me sick.


There are days when I feel like if I have to hear one of my children breathe, I might just go postal. Who do I call? Not my ex-husband or ex-boyfriend, because I don't have one of those. I have a husband that works his ass off to provide for us and make sure I can raise our children to the best of my ability. I cannot live off the state, we do not get food stamps, free daycare, medical aid, or any other assistance. In addition to not getting those benefits, we also have to pay for our own. We pay our own mortage, buy our own food, and the mere thought of daycare is unheard of.


In my situation, there is child support as well. I am not, by any means, saying it is an unneccessary expense, so please don't get that impression. Dustin pays a fair amount of support each month, damn near close to the amount of our mortage payment. It's discouraging at times to see his paychecks wilt away before they even hit our bank account, knowing someone out there is living a nice, work-free lifestyle on his buck.


I have never put a limitation on being able to my kids, as in, you have to keep them for ___ many days if you want to see them at all. I can recall the very last time Laila spent the night away from me, and it was September 9, 2008, the night I went into the hospital to have Kenadi. That's nearly 2 years ago. Kenadi has never spent the night away from me, she's always been safely tucked in her own bed at home, or with Dustin and I if we were out of town, which is very, very rare. I'm not saying I wouldn't love to have someone keep the girls for a night or two, but how much can you really see them when they're asleep? Pick them up in the morning and drop them off at night, you're not doing any visiting when they're in bed. That, to me, is when I get my break.


Trust me, there are times I wish I had a check coming in to support my children every month, I wish I had free rent, a free car, free medical care, and plenty of people to take the girls as often as I wanted a break, for a week at a time. Then, I look around at what I do have, and I thank God for every opportunity I have had, and for guiding me in the decisions I have made for myself and my children. I think stability, caring, education and a clean, safe environment are essential for growth, and I know I provide those things for my girls. I will not let anyone tell me I am wrong, I do the best I know how, I put my children first, and I am damn proud of it. I will move mountains and go to hell on Earth for my kids, and that's more than I can say for some people.