K-Mart Jeans

In high school, I remember being ridiculed for not having the right clothes, the expensive make-up, the slim body, or the latest hair style. With that being said, I obviously wasn't part of the "in-crowd". Since high school, things have changed. I have moved away, married my best friend, had children, and overcome many obstacles that have made me the person I am today. I am over the petty drama, and I am no longer embarrassed to wear K-mart jeans, to admit I don't even own enough make-up for a night on the town, and I haven't worn my hair down in weeks, let alone wash it in a day or two. Please don't get the impression I don't care for myself or my apperence, I just have learned over time the clothes don't make the mom-it's kissing boo boos, holding puke bowls at 3am, showing up for school recitals, and just being there that makes me who I am, and important to who matters most.

Now that I have my confessions out of the way, I have fear for my children. I never can recall a moment when I was unhappy, unclean, or that I went hungry. I may not have had the best clothes, but what I did have was always neat, clean, and fit. My parents saw to it I had a bath every night, and dinner was always hot and home made. Dustin and I were talking the other day about Laila, she's only 5 and I can see the cliques forming, the expensive back-packs and the designer shoes. Her school has a dress code, but that just isn't quite enough. She doesn't want for anything, but one day she will. Will we ever be able to provide for her the top-of-the-line items she will dream of, or will she be like me and be happy with love in her life and materials wont matter much? My husband seems to think we'll continue to spoil our children, even if it means putting our own needs and wants to the back burner, but knowing what I know now, will it be worth it? I'm not sure, and I'm not sure I will be able to figure that out on my own.

I am grown-up, high school is years behind me, and the cliques have disappeared. Would you believe one of the "popular" girls is one of my best friends-me, the band geek? The past is forgotten, the miles don't matter, and I am comfortable with who I am. She likes me for me, not for what clothes I wear, what kind of car I drive, or how big my house is. It's so refreshing to have built something out of nothing, taking time to get to know someone I dismissed as stuck-up, snotty, rich, and rude has proved to be one of the best things I could have ever done for myself. She is someone I shared the birth of my son with via facebook, someone who sent me a text right after her ultrasound to share with me she's having a boy, someone I can truly be myself with and someone I'm proud to know.

So, will my children be decked out in Abercombie and Hollister? Most likely not. Will they wear the newest shoes and have the expensive make-up you see on television commercials? My vote goes to no. If there are more people in the world like the friends I have made now, they wont need it. Their personalities will shine through and that is what matters.