Building a New Face

I knew it would happen, I knew this day would come, but I must admit, I was far from prepared. There comes a point in parenting when your child teaches you, and you no longer feel in control, but completely, totaly helpless. Laila is just 4 1/2 years old, but wise beyond her years. The compassion flowing through that little girl exceeds that of most adults, and the empathy she feels is admirable.

I do my best not to shelter my children from the truth, harsh or not, I'd rather her learn it right here at home than from a classmate or a friend. I let them make their own opinions, choose the things they like and dislike, and within reason make all their own choices. They both have strong, independent personalities, and for this, I am a proud mom, I feel like I did something right.

Nothing compares to the way I felt tonight. I have never, ever felt like this in my life. I let Laila watch very little T.V. during the day, maybe a show in the morning or during Kenadi's nap, and a show with me at night. Kenadi knows how to turn the television on, but not how to change the channel, so often the T.V. ends up on and no one has a clue what's playing, it's just background noise to us. I was getting the girls ready to go to the store, and Kenadi turned the tube on again, and for some reason Laila was stunned, almost like something had rooted her to the ground. I was in such a hurry to leave, I hardly noticed the channel that was on, or what was playing. It was Discovery Health, and the show was called "Building a New Face".

"Building a New Face" is a show about a little girl, Juliana, who was born with no face. It documents the life of this child, her struggles, surgeries, and the obstacles she's overcome. I asked Laila if she was scared, she was sitting there gripping the remote controls, unable to look away, and in tears over this little girl. Her response to me was one I'll never forget. She told me she was sad for this little girl. She is sad because she has such problems with her face, and she feels bad because no one will want to be her friend. I asked her if she would be her friend, and she said yes, everyone is different. She feels empathy, something most adults struggle with. She said she's scared for the little girl because, she's scared at the hospital. Laila compares herself to this little girl, and thinks nothing of it. She speaks of her like she's just as normal as the next, yet she understands just how different she really is.

Watching something like this is a reality check for any parent, you count your blessings and kiss your children one more time. Maybe you tell them you love them again, or take them out for a special treat because they're special to you. I tell Laila and Kenadi every day how much they mean to me, and I love them as big as the world. Today, after watching this show, Laila told me how lucky I am to have them. She reminded me that I have two beautiful, sweet girls, and those poor people have only one, and she's got a sad face. My heart aches, for the family of that little girl, for the other families I know are out there, and for Laila. She holds the weight of the world on her little shoulders.

It's moments like these, I know I must be doing something right. I struggle daily, wondering if I am making the right choices, teaching them the right things, instilling the right values...then something phenomenal comes out of Laila's mouth, something so compassionate, it brings me to tears. Then I know I've made the right choices, I've said and done the right things-with plenty of wrongs along the way- but enough good to experience moments like this. I promised them I will help to carry the weight, there should be no burden on them, they are too young. But I still believe honesty is the best policy, take it or leave it, and it shows.