Parenting

I'm not exactly sure where I'm going with this, but I have something to say about parenting. Parenting is just like anything else in life, I don't think there's a "right" or a "norm", there is no guidebook that has all the answers, and there's no one person out there who has the right to judge another.

I will admit, my kids are far from perfect-they get that from me. I'll be the first one to say when my kid is having a bad day, misbehaving, or just acting like a total brat, and I like to think I'm the last to make excuses. I take criticism as contructively as possible, and I try to do the best I can with the resources I have attainable. I've done some reading, I've asked around, and I've gone off motherly instinct, but I'm not perfect. Believe me, I'm no pro, if you could see my phone bill right now you'd see countless calls to my dad and sister that last just minutes-that's me asking for advice on what the heck to do with these kids!

In addition to being a not-even-close to perfect mom, I'm also a not-even-close to perfect human being. This is where the constructive criticism comes in, and admitting my kids-and my own- faults. There is no job application for being a mom, no credits required, and no where out there is there a book that tells you exactly what to expect, no matter what the title says.

If you knew me 5+ years ago, you knew I was one person who did NOT want kids, no way, no how. I was determined to live a life that revolved around ME, not changing diapers, pushing strollers, filling out reading charts and coming up with indoor crafts for a rainy day. All that aside, this is the life I now aspire to be good at, and I think I'm doing pretty okay. That doesn't mean I don't get the occasional dirty look at the grocery store or whispers at the park for the way I talk to my children, but in my opinion they're going to be adults someday, and I want them to hear it from me first. I refuse to use any excuse, whether it's legit or not, and not wanting kids is far from an excuse I can use now. I find it disgusting how often moms throw out there the most random excuses for their child's behavior. I don't care if you work full time, or if you just moved, or if your babysitter is no good, these are all things I've been through myself, and I am pretty sure they're not the only reason my kids do or do not behave. I am not one to tell someone else how to parent, but if you ask me, I'll speak my mind!

Dustin and I always say we don't like other people's kids, and the older I get, I find this statement to be more true. It's an awful thing to say, and a blanket statment at that, but I have such a hard time with the aforementioned excuses and just plain lack of giving a damn that I find it difficult meeting other people who look at things the same way as I do. It's not my way or the highway, and I don't feel my way is the only way, or the right way, but at times I am just baffled by the blinders other parents wear. If your kid hits, regardless of the circumstances preceeding or following, your kid still hit. End of story. Handle it accordingly. Same thing applies if your child bites, swears, or does something else (by your standards, I suppose) to be wrong.

I guess I'm done here, take this how you wish, this isn't a personal knock on anyone or their parenting style, just a bit about my own, I suppose. I'm not offering unsolicited parenting advice here, just blogging about parenting in general. I am an avid blog reader myself and I have seen a few posts about not telling someone else how to raise their child, but they always seem to find their way back to the excuses. Maybe if the excuses stopped and the real problem was addressed, you wouldn't need all  those lousy excuses to begin with. Just a thought.