Just Call Me Thomas

Recently, life has thrown me a curve ball I've been expecting, but wasn't fully prepared for. They say, when life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Apparently, I've lost the recipe.

When Dustin Jr. was born, he had a dimple on his lower back called mylelomeningocele, or a fancy term for spina bifida. You can read my post about it here. I was pretty shaken up back then, but the hospital's pediatrician and my family doctor didn't seem concerned enough about it to schedule any tests, so it was pushed to the back burner. At Dustin's 6 month check-up they looked at the dimple again and decided it needed to be referred to a specialist. We took him to Phoenix Children's Hospital for an MRI last month and finally received the results over the phone today. I knew all along the end result would be surgery, but I prayed he would be fine and maybe everyone had overreacted.

My heart was broken today as the doctor confirmed he would need surgery to fix the sacral dimple. In my opinion, he's going to the best hospital possible, and he's going to be in the care of one of the world's best neurological surgeons. Still, somehow, that doesn't ease my pain. The doctor went over the procedure with is, it's a very common surgery and lasts less than an hour. Because it is spinal surgery, they will keep him for two to three days to watch for leakage and to ensure the incision closes properly. The surgery will be scheduled by phone tomorrow, and when I know the date, I will know exactly how much time I have left to stress out until the big day.

Even as I sit here and explain it, I can't wrap my head around it. My son, my sweet little boy, needs surgery. He's so perfect, so handsome and lovable, how could this have happened to him? I wake up each morning and thank God for my blessings, the health of my family, my friends, and the things I have in my life. I know we are so very fortunate to have such a healthy, beautiful family despite Laila's diabetes, and this too will pass. My plate is so full already, I wonder how I can handle just one more thing; I have to take each day as it comes, and this is more than I ever expected having to handle. Without the support everyone has given me so far, I wouldn't be where I am today. Tomorrow's just another day, just like today, and I will get through it-as least I think I can. Just call me Thomas- "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can..."