Today

I love the kind of relationships that are so strong, you can go days, weeks, even months without speaking to someone, and not a thing changes. The trust you have in them never diminishes, the love you have for them grows, and each time you speak, it's like picking up right where you left off.

Today, I had a conversation with someone I hold very dear to my heart, someone I don't speak with nearly enough, and never get to see. We have a speak freely relationship- in my opinion, the best kind. Anything goes, anytime. The topic of today was therapy, I've never been, and the consensus is I should give it a whirl. The reasoning? I have a lot on my plate. Sure, I have days when I think I have a lot on my plate, but most days I feel just like anyone else.

Naturally, my mind can't stay on one subject very long, and I started day dreaming about the past, the future, and the present. From an outsider looking in, I suppose it does look like I have quite a bit going on. A baby, a toddler, a diabetic kindergartner, a husband, a home with a mortgage, sounds overwhelming just typing it all out! I feel like I'm constantly turning in circles, trying to make ends meet is near impossible at times, and I'm sure I will forever feel defeated, tired, and under appreciated.

Things used to be different, I never wanted kids. After having Laila, I still felt like the world was mine and I held it in the palm of my hand. I had dreams as big as the sky, and I felt unstoppable. After having two more kids, Laila's diagnosis, moving away from home and everything in between, my dreams have changed. I have new hopes, new desires, and the standards I set for myself has changed.

Plenty of times through this journey I have felt down about myself, my choices, my desires, my hopes, and dreams. Those are the times, magically, when this special person seems to appear in my life. She pops online, with a quick, "Hello!" or sends a text to let me know I'm on her mind. The times we do get to chat are amazingly healing, honest, and real. She might be the one who thinks therapy is the answer for me, but I think the answer might just be her. A big dose of someone I love reminding me who I am, where I'm from, and to keep my eyes on the prize. She may be biased, but that might be just what I need.

xoxo