Day 22 of the 30 Day Photo Challenge

I spent a lot of time thinking how much I wanted to share when it came to today. I could have easily picked something as simple as cooking or decorating a cake, but I chose to dive into myself and get a little personal.

Day 22 - A picture of something you wish you were better at...

This picture is my beautiful family, minus me. I'm not in it because I'm the one taking it, obviously, but also because my anxiety of how I'd look, where I'd fit in, just didn't let me sneak in there before the camera snapped. I struggle daily with just getting out of bed, and once I do, all day long it's hard to breathe, hard to focus, and even harder to remain calm. I wish, more than anything, I was better at taking care of my family, which means being in better control of myself.
 
I am now taking a pretty powerful anti-anxiety medication, and it helps to an extent. I still find myself getting worked up over the small things, and taking it out on my family when it's no one's fault but my own. I love them to death, I would let nothing hurt them, but I'm not sure they always know it. I am afraid they're often pushed to the back burner, I spend so much time focusing on me, and how I can just get myself moving half the time, that the important things sometimes slip through the cracks.

This is a lifetime committment, raising a family and being a wife. I will spend the rest of my life being the best I can, putting forth every ounce of energy I've got to being a mom my kids look up to, and wife my husband can cherish forever.