Day 24 of the 30 Day Photo Challenge

Today was another tough selection. There are plenty of things I wish I could change, though living without regret, I had to choose something I didn't have anything to do with the outcome of, and this photo flashed vividly in my mind.

Day 24 - A picture of something you wish you could change...

I don't remember exactly when I took this picture, but I have to think it was some time around my senior year. I haven't been to visit my mom in quite some time, it's been easily over five years since I have even driven past the cemetery. Before moving out west, I could count on one hand the number of times I ever visited. To me, she's not there, she never was, it's just a shell of a shell now.

 

If I could change anything, it would have to be the dates on that stone. I'd remove December 4, 1997, I'd erase it and leave it blank. I'd take away all the pain, suffering, not just hers, but all of ours. I'd change so many things about that time, it was just sad.

 

I'd bring her back, I'd bring her here. Right here, next to me. I'd squeeze her, hold her, tell her so many things. I'd introduce her to my children, I'd ask her so many questions, seek out all the advice she could give me. I'd soak up every second, every single breath, I'd relish in it. I would make sure, no matter what, she knows how much she's missed, and how my love for her will never die.

 

I cannot change this, I can't wipe the slate clean, erase bits of time, so I must move on. I will remember her always, but I have to live in the now, not for the those in the past.